I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
