So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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