yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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