The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
