Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
