Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
