Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
