This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
