the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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