i just wanna soil my oats bro
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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