i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
