she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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