can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
