I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just saw a hot homeless man
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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