Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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