She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
