I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
