Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
