Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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