I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
