He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
