When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
