yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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