Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
