last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
