Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
