when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
