this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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