Umm I'm too high to move.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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