My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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