You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
