I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This house was built for laser tag.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
