Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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