Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
