My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
