Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
