I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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