I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
