I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
