Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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