Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
