i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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