you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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