How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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