The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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