Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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