Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
