how can u be prego again
babies were throwing up all over the place
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Threesome in a minivan. New low
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Randomize
