in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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