Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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