WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
