I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
