i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
